Facilitating grief - losing a parent at a young age
Thesis project
Product design
Storytelling
My role
Desk research
User interview
Product design
Service design
Timeline:
2023 Dec - 2024 Jun
Children who have lost a parent often struggle with understanding and remembering the deceased parent's character, which can significantly impact their decision-making, emotional development, and coping mechanisms. The sudden absence leaves a void that is difficult to fill, causing prolonged grief and uncertainty. Current solutions for grieving children often focus on verbal communication or generic approaches, which may not be effective for every child. Moreover, many children may feel uncomfortable or unable to communicate openly about their loss, especially when trying to understand and recall the nuances of their parent's personality.
Problem
"Mogoneba" is a tool designed to assist grieving children in exploring and understanding the character of their deceased parent. It comprises a set of cards with carefully curated questions and a journal where children can record their answers. The process involves children first responding to questions from their perspective and then attempting to answer from their deceased parent's perspective. If unsure, children are encouraged to seek answers from family members, friends, or others who know their parents well. This tool is meant to be used in a guided therapeutic setting with professionals who can help children process the information and support them in identifying positive and negative patterns.
Solution
By facilitating a deeper exploration of a deceased parent's personality, "Mogoneba" helps children build a clearer, more nuanced understanding of their parent's character. This process can reduce the emotional burden of unresolved questions and foster a sense of closure. It encourages children to look forward to the future, helps them in their personal development, and offers a personalized coping mechanism. Furthermore, the tool could potentially be adapted for other scenarios of loss, such as the death of a sibling or close friend, making it a versatile solution for grieving individuals of all ages. The expansion and testing of "Mogoneba" could lead to broader accessibility and integration into various therapeutic practices, providing a more flexible approach to grief and loss.
Impact
Research
Through my desk research, I discovered the importance of open communication, personalized support, and creative outlets in helping children manage grief. I found that open discussions about death can lead to better long-term emotional outcomes, while tailored support programs can help prevent more severe issues like PTSD and depression. I was particularly struck by how creative approaches, such as storytelling in video games, can offer a safe space for emotional exploration and provide alternative ways for people to process their grief. This research has shown me the value of developing individualized tools and methods to help children navigate their grieving process in meaningful and healthy ways.
Main takeaways
Open communication
Short-term solution can help to cope with loss
Personalised solutions might have a better effect
Creative solutions
Survey
After gaining valuable information from the survey, I decided to conduct expert interviews. I spoke with professionals like Kaius, a grieving counselor with personal experience with loss, and Ana, a Georgian psychologist with extensive experience in therapy and corporate settings. I also interviewed Julia, who requested anonymity but shared valuable insights as someone who lost her father young and has a background in psychology, and Veelika, an Estonian Child Helpline e-counselor and family therapist. The interviews were semi-structured to encourage natural conversation and explore recurring themes like children's collaboration in therapy, the impact of parental loss on a child's identity, and the effectiveness of creative expression in coping with grief. This process was crucial in narrowing down the focus of my research by revealing the nuanced ways children process grief and how they can be better supported.
Main takeaways
Developing complex coping mechanisms after losing a parent
Grieving children may struggle with their sense of identity
Children are curious about the personalities of their departed parents.
Encouraging visual arts can help teens express grief when they struggle to speak about it.
Grief cycle
One thing that I discussed with Ana, the psychologist was the grief cycle. We agreed that although these steps look easy and linear, in reality, it is a chaotic journey where a person goes through the same stages multiple times. Before moving on, it is worth describing this in a little more detail.
Design principles
Based on data from the survey and interviews, I developed five key design principles to guide the final solution:
Create a Safe Space: Encourage openness by creating an environment where children feel safe to share their emotions.
Be Flexible but Guiding: Design a solution adaptable to each child's unique experience while providing gentle guidance through the grieving process.
Encourage Participation: Show the benefits of engaging in the process, helping children understand its long-term value.
Keep it Physical: Emphasize hands-on activities, as children find more value in creating tangible items themselves.
Offer Various Expression Methods: Provide both verbal and non-verbal ways (like writing, drawing, or art) to accommodate different communication preferences.
Concept Development: A Therapeutic Exploration of Parental Character
The idea involves two main components: a memory book and a mood board, used during therapy to help children explore and understand their deceased parents' characters. In therapy, children answer a question on a card about their parent, then do a "home assignment" where they answer the same question from their parent's perspective. In subsequent sessions, they discuss their findings with the therapist, who helps organize the information. The process concludes with creating a mood board to visualize their journey. This approach provides a safe, flexible, and supportive framework for children to explore their parents' personalities, fostering acceptance, empathy, and personal growth.
Testing the concept
The final solution was tested with experts, three of whom had also lost parents at a young age. Their feedback was very positive, and they showed interest in implementing the activity. Some key feedback included praise for the flexibility of the card idea, the potential impact on children, and enthusiasm to see the tool in practice. Experts also provided suggestions, such as including reminders that the deceased parent was human to avoid unhealthy attachment, providing a theoretical explanation of the child-parent relationship, adding a letter-writing option for the surviving parent, and using space in the notebook for additional thoughts.
What it is?
The solution is a tool that helps children to explore their deceased parents' character and personality. It was named “Mogoneba”, which in Georgian means memory. It includes cards with questions and a notebook. Mogoneba has two central components. First, a set of cards with questions on them, such as their thoughts on winning or about health. These questions are based on my own experience and facts that helped me to explore my father’s personality. Second, a notebook where children can write down their own and their parents’ answers to the question and at the end create a mood board of their parents based on their answers.
Why and how it can facilitate grief?
From personal experience, as well as from the research, I found out that parents have a crucial role in their children's personal development. When a parent passes away it leaves a huge empty space which usually is never filled and makes us question their character. Mogoneba is a tool that encourages children not to wonder anymore, explore their parents' character and during that time find their personality as well. Knowing deceased parents' character lets us not look at the past so often, dwell and grief. Furthermore, it encourages us to look forward to the future.
How it is used?
Throughout the therapeutic process, when the expert sees that the child has achieved good progress with their grieving and is ready to go through memories about their parent and explore more about them, they introduce “Mogoneba” as a tool to help them go through this process. The expert chooses the most relevant question for the child and lets them answer it from their own point of view. The child should write down their answers in the designated space in the journal. After the session, the child has a “home assignment” which is to answer the same question but from their deceased parent's side. During the exploration, the left pages of the journal have space for information that might not be relevant to the given question but has value for the child. At the end of the journal, the child is asked to create a mood board from all the information they have gathered during the process. This will help them to see their parent's character visually. As the last activity, the child is asked to write a letter to the other parent who is still alive and is also going through tough times.
Reflection
Now when I look back, only then do I realise how much progress I have made. In the beginning, the topic was overwhelming. I did not know what the outcome would be. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to create something that would help children who are going through the same thing as I did.
Throughout the research phase, I learned a lot about grief, support systems, and coping mechanisms that people have. I was able to find a solution through my research and personal experience, which inspires young people to explore the personalities and true nature of their departed parents. Although this is an extremely important topic, there is still a lot of work to be done in the field of death and dealing with the loss of a parent at a young age to make meaningful changes.
When it comes to the loss of a parent at a young age, it affects one's mental state. We constantly wonder what our deceased parents would say about the steps we take in life. The only way to guess it is to create their persona from the stories from our past and the stories that we hear from family and those who knew the person. Unfortunately, our memories are sometimes distorted, and people will never tell bad stories about the person who passed away. This creates a perfect version of a person that is impossible to be like. Because of that, children should always try to explore their deceased parents' real character and analyse what was good about them and what was not so good. They need to understand that every individual carries a mix of qualities and experiences, shaping their character in a complex way.
Let’s talk
Whether you are interested in working together or just want to find out more, please feel free to reach out. I'd be more than happy to set something up!